just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
