trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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