HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
