you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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