sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
