She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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