I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
