whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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