they need to just BURY HIM!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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