I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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