it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just want nice things and good sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
