I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
