i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
