a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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