pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
