Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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