why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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