There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
