What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
