I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
