I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
