Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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