It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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