I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
