girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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