I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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