i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
