dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
