I'm eating all of the evidence.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me