Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.