some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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