You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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