I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
