I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
