he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There's always time for handjobs
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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