Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
