I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
