You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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