I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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