Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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