You're so nebulous sometimes
Someone shit on the floor
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
