Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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