But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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