I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
