He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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