i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
