not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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