Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
