why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
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Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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