The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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