I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize