K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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