You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
