the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
