sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
