whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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