Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
