Plan B is the new Plan A
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize