Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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