I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
