So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
