I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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