omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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