I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize