i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
