Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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