i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
