yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
