some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
