I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Girls should come with a carfax report
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
