Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize