Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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