We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
third nipple confirmed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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