you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
