That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my being single is dangerous.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
